Behavioural messages

 

It is what we do rather than what we say that sends powerful messages about how we feel. We believe what we do, not what we say. If you tell yourself that you’re confident but hide at the corner in a party and never put yourself forward, you are not going to feel very confident. But if you tell yourself that you’re confident and act confidently, then you will feel so too. This also means that when we have noticed and challenged our SATs, it is important to behave in line with the new thoughts, not the old ones. Although it may feel uncomfortable and foreign at first, the more we behave in the new ways, the more we will believe in them. Here are some tips:

 

The non-stressed twin

 

Imagine that you have a twin who is exactly the same as you except that they don’t feel stress. Imagine them going into a situation and what they would do. Would they cope differently or come up with different ideas? If you can imagine this, then try to see if you can put your non-stressed plan into action.

Plan A and Plan B

 

Think about how you behave when you are stressed and write down what you do (Plan A).

Now think about what you would like to do if you felt brave, clever or confident (Plan B).

Imagine yourself carrying out Plan B, even thinking about what you would be wearing, how you would be carrying yourself, how your voice would be like, what you would be able to see and hear around you.